What she went threw to get...here [Alexandra read and reply!]

[DestinyCena]

A reality not seen [Sept. 9th 2011]

If you asked me to play back to you what happened that day I got here. I wouldn’t know where to start. I wouldn’t know how to act, or even tell you how I felt. The reason for it was easy, I couldn’t remember even if I wanted too from the moment they laid the stretcher wheel into the ambulance.  Don’t get me wrong, for what really happened, you could ask John in a heartbeat. But even those that know us know how close we are. Even when bringing up that simple date, could tell the pain in his eyes. And knew simply by that day, his worst fear of almost loosing me was very much possible and he didn’t want it brought up ever again. So your safe bet…was to ask me.

From that day, to the point I blacked out. I couldn’t tell you much though. Matter fact, I actually lost 4 days outside of the day of the surgery I had. So together, it was all in pieces. I know I’m not much help. But who are you going to have ask my husband answers of that day? My mom, dad, brother or sister? Even though, it may hurt in so many ways you know he would tell me faster. Especially knowing he could hold onto what he almost lost…

“Des, you have to hang on. You can’t leave me,” he said watching me softly as I looked into his eyes dazed and unable to breath.

“John, we need you to get up in front,” the paramedic said softly edging him to the passenger side, his dark black suit down to a simple dress shirt and slacks with shoes, to get in.

“Destiny, can you hear us? Your lungs are filling with water. We need to incubate you.”

But I was fighting it all. Even though my head was saying I needed them to incubate, my body wasn’t going to let them. My arms reached out and tried to push them off. They forced them back down. I could feel a small struggle. Then I could hear John talk from in front of me begging for me to just let them help. I slowly started to feel the ambulance pull over, and I heard so slightly the door open in front and then the back giving me a slight clue they hoped John would make me stop.

“Can you put your weight on her so we can John? We would but…”

That’s when I could feel his body on me. Gripping my wrists he forced them down at my sides and slipped his head down to my shoulder giving me a clue it’s one thing he wished he didn’t have to do. But to keep me alive, he was going to do it because I wasn’t at all going to be a willing patient. And then, only then, I actually blacked out…
In Grafton Wisconsin in Room 302: 4 days later
The pain was great from my head to my toes. All I could do was wish that my eyes were cemented shut but I knew, to keep John sane, I had to open them. With pain, and ache I started to stir opening realizing the room was almost blinding white.
“John,” I managed to say my voice weak but letting me know I had no tube in my throat.
It easily started to make me tear up without knowing. And then I heard the curtains open and forced me easily to turn and look. There was the most perfect blue eyes I could of seen in how long starting to tear because he saw my brown eyes look back.
“Boo,” I continued as he didn’t even say a thing and came to my side, leaning over and kissing me so tenderly it made my heart flutter as when we first meet.
“God I missed your eyes. You had me so scared I actually thought,” his voice cut as I looked to him and raised a hand slowly to his mouth and traced a single finger to his lips to hush him.
“I’m here,” I mouthed slowly moving over so he could slide in the bed with me not even thinking the cords were going to be a bother.
“How are you feeling?” he asked as I slowly moved to face him his hand staying steady as it grazed into my hair then down to my neck leaving him easily kiss my forehead.

“Just woke, so I’m not sure yet. What happened?”