Evolution 5 {4/11/03}

[Taylor Andrews]

April 11th, 2003

A pyro shoots down from the rafters of the sold out Allstate Arena in Chicago Illinois followed by more smaller pyro as Evolution 169 by Nevermore begins playing! The camera pans around the arena showing all the fans with their signs waving around, screaming for the show! The view then cuts over to Kid Rock and Eminem at the commentator's table near ringside!

Kid: Whats up chi town?! Ready to kick this bitch off right?

Em: I'd say it sounds like it Kid! Muthaf'cka's are loud up in here!

Kid: Uh huh and rightfully so, cause we got a pretty good show! Man, this crazy kid Jamie is taking all three Dudleyz and Tommy Dreamer in a table's match!

Em: He's f'n nuts man! He is good, but damn, that's four guys! Also though, here's one for you Kid, Whitney Marret and Carrie McMahon fight it out in a pudding match!

Kid: Oh yea! A couple of chicks rolling around in chocolate pudding, mm....mm....good!

Em: Plus two number one contenders' matches tonight! First Jeff Hardy and Shaun Venom see who goes to New Blood to face the cruiserweight champ!

Kid: And in the main event, Chris Jericho fights that lil bitch boy whiner and liar, posing ass Corey Jones to see who fights my main man Mack at New Blood for the world title!

Em: Either one will get heir ass kicked by Mack, but Jericho had best beat Corey down or I'll jump up in there and do it myself! Muthaf'cka wants to walk around posing like me and using my sing, fuck him! He don't know shit about having it bad, f'n spoiled lil brat!

Kid: Yea, I hear ya man, no worries, I know Jericho will kill him!





Handicapped Tables Match

The three Dudley Boys wait along the ring side as Jamie and Tommy Dreamer starts things off walking around each other seeing which one will strike first. They lock up and seem pretty much even, Dreamer gets a headlock in Jamie though runs at the ropes pushing dreamer into it and getting out of the hold. Jamie turns dreamer and kicks him in the gut as he nails a DDT, Jamie gets up and runs out side of the ring to get a table but on the other side the Dudley's send three tables into the ring setting them up. The ref tells them to go back into there corner and they do as Jamie gets back into the ring, and sets up a table turning his back to dreamer as he slowly starts to get up. Dreamer begins to stalk Jamie as the table is set up, he turns around and Dreamer nails him in the gut with his foot. Dreamer turns him around and is about to suplex him through the table but Jamie blocks it with his foot, Jamie starts to hit him with some right hands as Dreamer starts to loosen his grip. He eventually lets go and Jamie hits him with one huge right, he walks backwards into the ropes than bounces off them towards Dreamer and hits a spine buster right through the table. The ref rings the bell as Dreamer rolls out of the ring in pain. Jamie slowly gets up as he points to the three Dudley's seeing which one will come up. D-Von and Bubba look at each other as they pat Spike. Spike walks in and Jamie goes after him, the two start exchanging punches Jamie getting the advantage he sees the table near by and grins as he kicks him in the gut and nails Spike's very own move the Dudley dog into the table as Spike is soon eliminated. The two left remaining brothers enter the ring at the same time and Jamie tries to fight them off but they just double team on him sending him into the corner and stomping on him, D-Von goes to get another table and tells Bubba to move, he waits for Jamie to get up and goes to give him a spine buster right into another table but Jamie counters it into a DDT and puts D-Von's head through the table leaving only him and Bubba left. Bubba picks him up and grabs him by the head as he punches him right in the face a few times, Bubba starts to do his little dance but Jamie drops to his knees and low blows Bubba. Jamie just puts him on a table and punches his head a few times before he looks at the t/b. he climbs up it and nails his tag team partner Virus' finisher the Guillotine Leg Drop on Bubba as he goes through the table and Jamie wins the match.

Lillian Garcia: Here is your winner............Jamie!

Jamie's music hits and he poses in the ring!

Kid: Damn, Jamie sure showed up tonight and whipped some ass!

Em: Yea he did! Kid did good tonight, but I wonder how he would have faired against four of SEF's top superstars!





Pudding Match

Once both women have made their way down below the stage and are standing near the pool of pudding, Carrie looks to charge Whitney! Whitney just sidesteps her, grabs her hair, and tosses her over into the poll, then jumps in there and begins pounding on her with fists! Whitney then picks up Carrie and slams her down as hard she can, picks her up again and locks in a crossface which leads to the southern sleeper and soon Carrie taps out!

Lillian Garcia: Here is your winner by submission.............Whitney Marret!

Always hits and Whitney poses for the crowd while wiping off the pudding!

Kid: Wow, she is quite good! Whitney kicked Carrie's ass!

Em: Yea she did! Bad ass chick there!





#1 Contender To SEF Cruiserweight Championship At New Blood

Jeff Hardy and Shaun Venom tear into each other knowing what's on the line tonight and Jeff begins to punch Shaun, he bounces off the rope and charges at Venom, but he counters at he hit's a suplex, Shaun gets up and starts to stalk Jeff, he makes it to his fit and Shaun hit's a German suplex, followed by another and he goes for a third but Jeff counters it into a roll up ref-1._2.. Kick out. Both me get up and look at each other as they slowly start to lock up, Shaun gets the advantage and pushes him into the corner, he lets go and begins to lay some chops onto Jeff as the crowd can't help but chant "woo" each time he does it. He starts to taunt the crowd and goes to hit another one on Jeff but he moves out of the way and gets Shaun into the corner where he lays in some fists. Jeff grabs his arm and Irish whips him into the other turn buckle. Shaun bounces off a little bit back from the impact and Jeff kicks him in the gut and hit's the twist of fate he than climbs on the t/b and than hit's the Swanton bomb to get the three count.

Lillian Garcia: here is your winner by pinfall............Jeff Hardy!

Jeff's music hits as he poses for the crowd!

Kid: Nice match! Jeff picked up a good win over Shaun!

Em: Yea he did! Jeff is doing better lately!





Triple Threat Match

The match starts off as all three woman start to stair at each other seeing which one will strike first, Cassie and Trick begin to start some trash talk to each other and soon get closer to each other, Cassie and Trick start to exchange forearms. Trick tries to hit one but Cassie moves and throws Trick out of the ring. She looks at what she just done and turns around as Torrie nails her in the gut in the stomach she goes for a DDT but Michaels counters and throws Torrie over her back she picks her up and hits a snap suplex on her. Trick gets into the ring and clubs Cassie from behind as she falls and rolls out of the ring. Trick and Torrie than get up they look at each other and Torrie slaps her, Trick slaps back and it's not long before these two are rolling on top of each other in cat like fashion. Trick starts to punch her in the face and gets up. She waits for Torrie to get up and nails The Trick on her. she gets up and turns around only to see Cassie on the ropes, she jumps and nails the hurricanrana on Trick. Cassie than gets up and goes for the pin as the ref counts three.

Lillian Garcia: Here is your winner by pinfall...............Cassie Michaels!

Cassie's music hits as she raises her arms in the air posing for the fans!

Kid: Damn, three honeys up in the ring, nice one!

Em: Yea, they good athletes to though!





Submission Match
#1 Contender To SEF World Heavyweight Championship

Jericho and Corey are both in the ring and the bell has rang! Jericho yells out that Corey has three seconds to give it up now! Corey just shakes his head no and charges Jericho! Jericho shoulder blocks Corey down and grabs his legs, locking in the walls of jericho which Corey immediately taps out to like a drunk man!

Lillian Garcia: Here is your winner by submission............Chris Jericho!

Break the walls down hits and Jericho poses with Trish!

Kid: Man, Corey is a bitch boy! He f'n tapped out in what was it, like ten seconds!

Em: Hahaha, what a f'n faggot he is!

Kid: Yea, well that's it for tonight people, peace!