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Iron Men Are We (Diamond Dogg promo)

Started by The Sandman, April 07, 2023, 07:40:27 PM

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The Sandman

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Date Posted:01/02/2010 8:08 PMCopy HTML



Fade in...

The camera fades into a shot of Diamond Dogg standing outside the same sleazy motel as last time. Diamond Dogg is again holding his SEF Iron Man Championship. The camera fades in and Diamond Dogg speaks.

Diamond Dogg: "So, Bobby "The Bitch" James speaks again huh? This time he insults Diamond Dogg as being gay yet again? This time he suggests that Diamond Dogg likes granny porn? Don't make Diamond Dogg angry or sick. First off, Diamond Dogg isn't gay. As Diamond Dogg said, genders DO NOT matter to him. And whats more, Diamond Dogg was never abused as a child. Though Diamond Dogg once did try to bash his mommy's head in with wooden blocks. But Diamond Dogg was only four years old at the time. Diamond Dogg was an innocent little boy, but they put him in hospital for it."

Diamond Dogg: "As for grannies... well Diamond Dogg doesn't do grannies. Just because a bitch is toothless, doesn't mean shes old. Hell the best blow jobs are really gum jobs. No teeth to scratch your dick, and no teeth to give the woman problems with fitting your dick in her mouth. Plus she can suck harder. Gum jobs are the best. Bostons Best doesn't know what he's missing. Hell most of the world doesn't know what it's missing. But Diamond Dogg will show ya. Diamond Dogg will show everyone!"

Diamond Dogg pauses and listens again to the sounds of domestic violence. Diamond Dogg grabs his crotch and seems to fondle his cock through his baggy blue jeans while listening in.

Diamond Dogg: "Also for the record, Diamond Dogg doesn't fuck pigs! Pigs are a filthy animal. Diamond Dogg fucks beautiful animals such as Becky the Horse. Diamond Dogg still has fond memories of Becky. Diamond Dogg is not a nasty pig fucker! Diamond Dogg has more class then that! But Diamond Dogg will make you squeal like a pig if ya want. But first you must beg Diamond Dogg for it. You most get on your knees and beg your Master which is Diamond Dogg to make you squeal for it. Diamond Dogg is not a cruel master. Diamond Dogg knows your hurting for a good ass fucking. Diamond Dogg will give it to ya, but first you must beg."

Diamond Dogg: "Or if you don't want to be branded gay, then Diamond Dogg can get ya that sex change you've always wanted Bobby James. Diamond Dogg will get you a sex change complete with a nice set of double H-cup boobies and the prettiest dresses in all the land. Diamond Dogg thinks you'd like that. Wouldn't you like that? And for our anniversary, Diamond Dogg will take ya out to McDonald's for a romantic evening. Diamond Dogg knows how to show his women a good time."

Diamond Dogg pauses, and this time reaches behind him and into his back pocket. He pulls out a pouch of Redman. He opens the pouch and grabs a nice big pinch of tobacco. Diamond Dogg sticks the tobacco into his mouth and begins to chew. Diamond Dogg spits out a huge glob of tobacco juice onto the ground.

Diamond Dogg: "So you were on Craig Ferguson huh? Diamond Dogg isn't impressed. Is that the best you could do? What's next? Jimmy Kimmel? Stop trying to impress Diamond Dogg. Your climbing down the ladder, not up it. Diamond Dogg heard that you think Diamond Dogg has anger issues. But Diamond Dogg doesn't. Or at least he didn't till he heard about your hurtful comments to him. You say Diamond Dogg doesn't make much sense? Diamond Dogg makes perfect sense. Diamond Dogg is a visionary ahead of his time. Diamond Dogg will show you the light yet Bobby James."

Diamond Dogg: "And finally before moving on... Diamond Dogg doesn't touch children. Diamond Dogg has never and will never touch children. Diamond Dogg likes children, but not in the way you make it sound like. For that remark, win or lose, Diamond Dogg promises to knock your teeth out Bobby James come this Extreme. DO NOT slander Diamond Dogg. Stop trying to ruin Diamond Dogg's good name. Crack has already damaged Diamond Dogg's good name. Stop trying to add fuel to the fire, especially with lies. Diamond Dogg will make you eat your words and... more. Because of that, when Diamond Dogg bends you over later in the night during his victory celebration, Diamond Dogg promises no lube for you. Diamond Dogg is going to make it hurt oh so good."

Diamond Dogg pauses and spits another large glob of tobacco juice onto the ground.

Diamond Dogg: "Come Wednesday night... Diamond Dogg is bringing light tubes and barbed wire, and Mr. Cheese Grater. Diamond Dogg can't wait to introduce Bobby James to his friends and much more. This Extreme is going to get bloody, it's going to get hardcore. And we'll see who's standing at the end. Diamond Dogg is an Iron Man! Diamond Dogg is the SEF Iron Man Champion! Are you an Iron Man Bobby James? Diamond Dogg thinks not! Diamond Dogg will show the whole world who you really are. You call Diamond Dogg a bitch, but you speak of yourself. We'll see whether you can handle a real man come this Extreme. Diamond Dogg will show you no mercy."

Diamond Dogg: "Diamond Dogg cannot possibly show you mercy Bobby James. All the trash talking and lies will come back and bite you in the ass. Diamond Dogg will soon brutalize you in ways you can't yet imagine. Diamond Dogg is the SEF Iron Man Champion. Diamond Dogg must represent the title to the best of his ability. That means being brutal. That means being tough. That means being an Iron Man. As Diamond Dogg has said, if you want to beat Diamond Dogg, you'll have to kill him or damn near kill him. Diamond Dogg doesn't know how to quit. Diamond Dogg cannot lose to scum like you. Scum like you need to know their place."

Diamond Dogg pauses yet again, and spits a huge glob of tobacco juice onto the ground.

Diamond Dogg: "Diamond Dogg is a true champion. Diamond Dogg is the SEF Iron Man Champion! Diamond Dogg represents the real face of the company. Diamond Dogg represents the letters S-E-F! Diamond Dogg refuses to represent this new EFNW. This... Extreme Faggot Nation Wrestling. Bobby James, you can be Richard E. Dangerously's pet if you want, and represent his EFNW, but Diamond Dogg won't. Diamond Dogg stands for the old guard. Diamond Dogg stands for justice. Diamond Dogg will someday see this company return to it's true self."

Diamond Dogg: "Make no mistake Bobby James, come this Wednesday night, you'll wish you had never pissed me off. You say Diamond Dogg is a bitch for walking out on you. But your the bitch for trusting Diamond Dogg in the first place. Diamond Dogg told you and everyone else that he wasn't a people's person. Diamond Dogg told all that he was opposed to being in a Tag Team Match, but you didn't listen. Your a fool Bobby James. You should have seen it coming, but you were too arrogant. Diamond Dogg thinks you got what you deserved."

Diamond Dogg pauses, and spits yet another huge glob of juice onto the ground. Diamond Dogg looks around, and then looks back into the camera.

Diamond Dogg: "This promo is over! Get out of here or I'll kidney punch you camera man!"

The camera is quick to fade out. As it does, we see Diamond Dogg walk off with the SEF Iron Man Championship in hand and still chewing his tobacco.

Fade out...

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